Last Night at Nightcrawlers

Attendance: 70

Last night’s energy made it hard to maintain control. All the usual areas — the notorious Dark Room, the so-called “Slut-Me-Out” area in back, the lounge — got real freaky. And the bruthas were phyne asf, especially the sexy newbies.

Tops are aggressive these days. The way they slapped that ass sounded painful, but no mercy was given. In fact, the slapping got harder as the night went on. Err-body could hear it. Seems like it just turned bruthas on even more, tho.

Big thanks to our excellent host, Derrick. Even though he busted three times with three different ninjas, he didn’t miss a beat. Derrick kept us organized and made all the first-timers feel comfortable.

Huge thanks to Lawrence for providing security and keeping err-body safe throughout the night.

Biggest thanks goes to all you freaky Black mofos who slapped that ass so hard, we got worried.

p.s. Gotta show love to JSJ for bringing that big bottle of tequila. You kept the party going, bro.

Nightcrawlers: The Shy Guy

Attendance: 63

Bruthas pulled up with that high energy and wasted no time. About an hour in, I noticed there was only one person chillin in the lounge. The security guy said, “Err-body in the dark room.”

A sexy newbie walked in with his bucket hat pulled down low. You could barely see his eyes. His body language made it obvious he was shy and uncomfortable, so our host attempted to make him feel at ease.

His drink kicked in, his body relaxed, the bucket hat came off, and he finally walked into the darkness with confidence. According to the host, “his dick was big and it tasted good.”

Oh-kay…lol

Representatives from the APLA Health Center pulled up to provide on-site STD testing. Major props to APLA rep Ryan for hooking us up with condoms and for his dedicated service to the community.

Gotta thank our host, Derrick (aka “Thunderdome”) for doing a great job even though his dick was on brick all night. Shout-out to Lawrence for providing security.

Biggest thanks always goes to you phyne-ass Black mofos who lit up Nightcrawlers.

p.s.: JSJ, great seeing you last night. Thanks for that big bottle of Jack D.

Last Night at Blackout

Attendance: 80

Y’all showed out.

The notorious Dark Room was packed. The entryway was packed. The so-called Slut-Me-Out area was packed. It got so active, we had to put the A/C on blast within the first hour. The body heat was almost overwhelming.

Two sexy newbies pulled up thinking underwear was allowed. We explained that Blackout is butt-ass naked, but Nightcrawlers on Saturday nights is underwear optional. They walked out then came back when they saw phyne mofos walking up to the door.

Reluctantly, the two newbies undressed and looked very uncomfortable. Then their drinks kicked in and they started to relax and get involved. One of them got VERY involved with several bruthas. The other one ended up drunk and passed out in a bedroom.

When closing time arrived, they were still with us, looking a little stunned by what they had experienced. That’s always good for business.

Big thanks to that tall, slim mofo with the big dick for hosting. He did an amazing job handling the crowd. Some of y’all couldn’t keep your hands (or mouths) off him, tho.

Thanks to Lawrence for providing excellent security. Our biggest thanks, as usual, goes to all you Black mofos who decided to pull up, act shy, get drunk, and pass out.

Nightcrawlers: Labor Day Weekend

Attendance: 65

So, look —- we’ve been partying all weekend and we’re very tired. This will be brief because I’m ‘bout to crawl back in bed.

Nightcrawlers was lit. Hot boys, newbies, tall ninjas, hung ninjas, all that. We heard one brutha getting his cheeks deeply split in the Slut-Me-Out area. Sounded like he fell in love.

A phyne-ass chocolate bro visiting from New York got err-body’s attention. He had an impossible body. At one point, he sat down in the staff area, grabbed our security guard’s left foot, removed his shoe and sock, and proceeded to give him a 20-minute foot message.

Didn’t see THAT coming.

Our host, Derrick (aka “Thunderdome”) was rock-hard all night. Very unprofessional. He promised to control himself, but around midnight, he was looking for poppers.

Thanks to our host, thanks to Mo and Lawrence for keeping us safe. Biggest thanks to all you Black mofos who apparently like to rub feet.

Now, back to bed.